There is no right or wrong way to deal with having cancer. Everyone must get through it in their own way and the way that makes them the most comfortable. For me, sharing my journey has been of great therapy to me. I am so appreciative of all of you who have been keeping up with my journey and sending words of love and positivity, they have helped me get through this. Connecting with other young people who are going through treatment and survivors has been such a blessing too and I have done this mostly through instagram.
Here are some awesome individuals who have inspired and helped me through this journey:
https://www.instagram.com/alisondemars/
https://www.instagram.com/kaitbovard/
https://www.instagram.com/leximtz/
https://www.instagram.com/ceilingexplorer/
https://www.instagram.com/tashluna/
These ladies have been a great support to me and are so brave! Lots of love to you all and keep up the great work, we got this!
Cancer was always so scary to me, my worst fear in fact, but I want to show people to not be scared and that you can get through it. I want to spread awareness about Breast Cancer because if it is detected early, even in some cases the later stages too (Yippee!) it can be cured. By self checking and being in tune with your body, you are doing your part to keep yourself safe. If you find anything, there is no harm in checking. I do not want to scare people, because you cannot live in fear of these things. It is just good to know about them and be aware.
Here is some helpful information for all age groups:
https://www.breastcancerfoundation.org.nz/breast-awareness/taking-care-of-your-breasts
I have also been very honest about what I have gone through during these last two months in hopes of helping others who are also taking part in this journey. Whether it be a personal battle, or they know someone who is going through this. Cancer can be isolating and scary. You can feel like no one else understands. If I help one beautiful soul feel less alone I have succeeded.
For me the worst thing about having cancer is watching the people around you suffer. When I first went to the Harbour Cancer Centre to meet my Oncologist I walked out into the carpark after the meeting and burst into tears and started kicking a tree (psycho i know). My dad proceeded to break down. He was almost howling, the tears streaming down his face and his head was in his hands. I had never seen really seen my dad upset, only when my mums mother died he cried once with us in the hospital but other than that he always holds it together. He has not had the easiest life and he is very strong. To see him that upset made my heart hurt, writing this I am welling up at the thought of this moment.
I have also struggled so much with losing my hair which I never thought I would. I have covered my head up since I did the last shave a month or so ago. I also have developed acne on my scalp and neck which is depleting my confidence even further. However, last week I went out with my friends from England. I left the house with a head scarf on and with in 10 minutes of walking into the bar I decided to take it off and let my bald head be free. It was a hot night, felt like summer and I thought why hide this? No one looked at me funny or made me feel uncomfortable which was so lovely. I have had children ask me why I am bald and I say its just how I am because I dont want to scare them.
I have not seen my nieces since I started chemo. I want them to remember me as the energetic Dani who plays games and draws with them. Bella is 6 years old and Michelle, Nicks sister and Bellas mother, has given her a book to explain what is happening to me, so she knows and always says to nick she hopes I am better. Bless her. I am excited to go back and play with them again once I am well.
I cry every day. I laugh everyday and I am thankful for my life everyday.
Thank you to you all, you give me strength, you keep my spirits high and you make me laugh :) xx