27th September, over two months since my diagnosis and I felt like I could finally breath again. I went for my progress scan on the 27th September. I had been waiting for this day since I started this journey. This scan would tell me, if what I had hoped and prayed for, was actually happening. Walking around with cancer inside you, not being able to see what the cells are doing is horrendous and creates a lot of anxiety. I lived everyday just hoping that it wasn't growing, spreading and putting my faith in the doctors to save my life. As an already anxious person, this drove me nuts but I did learn to somewhat live with it.
The whole morning at work I was nervous, although, I was productive . These days my theory is, no amount of worrying will change what is going to happen. It is wasted energy. At 12.45 my dad picked me up and took me to the appointment, we got stuck at every red light, typical.
I was lead into the same room where my life changed two months ago, to wait for the radiologist to start my ultrasound. Minutes, felt like hours and I just wanted to know what was going on. I'm lying there, tit exposed, nick and mum are in the room, just as nervous as me... waiting. Michael, my radiologist, comes in and we do our formalities and get straight to the scan.
"They have shrunk, a lot." The words I so badly wanted to hear. It's only half way through treatment and my tumours have already shrunk by around 30%, amazing improvement for so early in chemo. I was so happy I just started crying, tears of relief. Even the assistant cried, we all cried. It was so surreal. All these months of worry washed over me and disappeared. The chemo was doing it's job. There are many different chemos and they don't know what you are gong to personally respond to the best, no two cancers are exactly the same because no two people cell/DNA make ups are the same. If this chemo didn't work they still have quite a few options up their sleeves. In my case what they are doing now, the gold standard of HER2+ breast cancer treatment, worked on me.
After I wipe the gel from my breast and tie up my very sexy blue number we regroup and head to the lounge to wait for my plastic surgery meeting. I hug my surgeon who will be performing the mastectomy before the plastic surgeon comes in to clean me up. Mu surgeon and has been with me from the start, she was the person who delivered my life changing news. Erica Whineray-Kelly is her name, and YES she is related to Wilson Whineray the famous NZ All Black. Here is the crazy thing, her uncle Bruce Whineray, Wilsons brother, is my aunties god father. My grandad went to Gramma with the Whineray brothers and they were all great friends. Such a small world.
My plastic surgeon Meredith examined me and discussed all of the ins and out of the surgery. I have quite a few different options to choose from and I have a lot to think about. The great thing about the surgeries is they don't cut off any options for later on. There will be advancements in technology that will be life changing for this surgery and you never know what will be available to improve my final look down the track.
It is confirmed that on the 13th of December 2018 I will undergo a double mastectomy with an instant rebuild. The surgeries vary in time depending on what I decide to do. What I do know is I will be under for at least 6-8 hours, other options can take up to 16 hours to complete. I am so excited to say good bye to my breasts and the cancer once and for all. Choosing a surgery options is personal. There is not a “one size fits all" option. I don't mind the thought of having implants and I know for sure I do not want to keep my other breast. they have turned on me once and have now completely ruined our friendship, I hold grudges. Where as some people may want to just take the one infected breast off, have a reduction of the other breast and opt for a more natural solution using there own body tissue which is amazing too. It is whatever you are going to feel comfortable living with. It is your body and your choice.
So today, you can guess, I am feeling pretty on top of the world. Thanks again for all your amazing messages and support, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Bring on chemo 4 next week, 2/3 of the way through and closer to the light. New boobs for Christmas and my life back? Not a bad present I think.